Tears. . . big big tears!!!! I didn't even know these pictures existed!!!
As a photographer I am generally ALWAYS the one taking the pictures. . . the one behind the lens. . . the one who doesn't exist in the memories. It seriously tore me up for the LONGEST time that I didn't have any pictures of me and Skyler. Nothing to say I was there too and a tangible memory I could hold in my hand of me and this amazing person who meant so so much to me!!! Yesterday, Sissey brought over a huge box of pictures she has saved for Beckey from a tragic mishap. . . she had gone above and beyond to rescue these precious memories for her sister, which in itself was just AMAZING. As we looked through the piles and stacks of pictures there they were. . . pictures proving I was there too!!! I was a part of this little man's life not just a spectator.
Truth be told I stopped taking pictures all together after Sky left us. I didn't want to see the beauty anymore. . . I had failed because there just weren't enough pictures. There weren't enough memories and I couldn't make more because my chance was gone and I had NOTHING to say I was actually there. I am a stubborn person, I admit it, and I fought a lot with myself over this one because why should I even try when I had already failed?!? It took me close to a full year to realize that just because I had failed once doesn't mean I have to fail twice. . . I just need to do better this time. . . so I started taking pictures again about 3 weeks ago and a piece of me that felt like it had been sleeping started to wake up and THAN this magical moment happened where I was blessed with this incredible gift!!! I WAS THERE TOO!!!
Ok, so I know. . . crazy emotional me. . . but moral of the story. . . capturing those memories is so important!!! As a photographer you are the time keeper, you are the memory maker and the person who is freezing these simple moments that, looking back on, are more important than you even realize right now SO MAKE THEM!!!! But more over, get in them!!! YOU WERE THERE TOO!!! Maybe it is a selfie, maybe you set something up with your kids, maybe you hand your camera over?!? It doesn't matter!!! Just do it!!!! And for the people standing back watching their photographer. . . maybe offer to take their picture (they will likely say no because as a photographer we are comfortable behind the lens not in front of it) SO maybe just take it. . . sneak that shot if you have to!!!! Take that picture and smile because you know what?!? You just made your own moment and your own frozen memory that that person will be so thankful for someday!!!!
I miss you every single say My Sky Thai!!!